Orion and I came in the door from our trip to the grocery store. I sprinted to the bathroom because its impossible to use a public restroom with him in tow. When I get done, I go into Orion's room and realize that one of the dogs has pooped in his room and has (OMG) tracked it all over his room. He's bawling and exhausted, so I pick him up and plop him in the crib and go to get a bottle. While he settles in, I get all of the solid matter up and start planning my carpet cleaning strategy for after he wakes up.
As he sleeps, I realize that in my haste I've put him to bed with his shoes on. No biggie, but I've never done it before. I wonder if it will keep him from sleeping well.
He wakes up right on schedule and I go in to find that it most certainly was NOT the dog who tracked the poop all over the room. It was Orion, and I have put him to bed in shit encrusted shoes. Shoes which he has now used to track shit all over his crib and, as a result, himself.
So to sum up my afternoon, I:
1. Picked up dog shit
2. Cleaned up 20 spots of dog shit tracked around the carpet
3. Washed a shitty crib sheet
4. Bathed a shitty toddler
5. Used a toothpick to clean dog shit out of every groove in a pair of size 6 double Wide Stride Rite sandles
6. Cleaned the litter box
At this point, I will take any job where no one smears shit on themselves and expects me to clean it up.
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